Paper 2, Question 1
About our school
Welcome to Eastwood Highschool, at our school we take pride in all of our student’s successes. We all are a family here and support each other while also striving for academic excellence. Our school has received a grade A for the last five years, and we are the first in the county. We believe in always putting our students first, and teaching our students to always put our best foot forward.
Some rules about our school
At Eastwood Highschool, all of our students have top four rules they all must follow.
Punctuality. Being on time is very important, and every student should be sitting down at their desk ready for the start of class. Tardy is taken very seriously here.
No smartphones, tablets, or personal computers that aren’t school-issued. All personal devices should remain in the student's locker and or backpack during class. If they are used in class, they will be immediately confiscated and held to the end of the day.
Always behave in an honorable fashion: no cheating. Any student who is caught cheating or copying whether it is homework or an exam. The student will be sent to the principal’s office and parents notified. Cheating is not acceptable here and if students ever need help they can always reach out.
Always respect the teacher and their instructions. Every teacher deserves to be treated with the same respect you would give your fellow students. As well as their instructions need to always be followed and if not you will fall behind. Your lack of attention can slow the entire class down and cause unnecessary disruption.
Best recommendations
My best recommendation for you coming to our school is to always try on your assignments. It may seem scary, however, as long as you try your best there will be no chance you could do bad. We make sure to always help our students one on one if they are ever struggling with anything. All of our teachers offer after-school tutoring sessions that are free to everyone. As well as before school you can meet with the teacher one on one. Lots of our students love to participate. We are all a family and welcoming to everyone and I’m sure you will get along with the other students plenty well. This may all seem scary, however, I can assure you that you will fit in very well.
B.)
I included basic conventions for a leaflet to fit the shape of the material. For example, I developed the audience for high school age. I also included headings that had to do with each of the paragraph’s information and details. I talked in a second-person point of view like “You” since it is giving them advice on what to do. Usual and technical language is used to make it understandable for a high school student.
The linguistic choices I contributed to the leaflet was with each paragraph it goes into depth on different advice for the upcoming high school students. The first paragraph is a short welcome to the school, which is used as an introduction or opening statement. Then in the second paragraph, I talk about all the rules involved in the school and the consequences if not correctly following them. Lastly, in the last paragraph, I give a recommendation on what to do on the first day of school and how to best prepare yourself for it. My main advice used throughout was to put your “best foot forward,” and to always at least try your best. I use lots of calm and comforting words like “family,” and “welcoming” to make the student feel safe. The main purpose was to assure the student that they made the right choice choosing Eastwood Highschool and our school would help set them up for their future.
Question 1(a) 9 marks
ReplyDeleteTo start, the identification of your audience did not come till the end of the blog, when you spoke about recommendations. If you would have stayed in the second person for the integrity of this blog then it would have been more successful.
Your context was prevalent and was explained very clearly, although I feel like instead of listing off those bullets about school rules, you could have expanded on the advice given to match the prompt.
The structure that you presented was very good, the headline and subtitles added to it, good job. This form shows that you understood the prompt.
Throughout your whole paper, there were no linguistic errors, from what I can tell, while there were a few elongated sentences like, “I give a recommendation on”, could have been more precise with “ I recommend”.
Overall you did pretty well for the first part in completing the task, although it could have been better in the aspect of your language skills. Create a slogan or a metaphor, something to elaborate on in part b
Question 1(b) 3 marks
In this part, you started strong by explaining how you identified your audience and used a few buzz words in doing so. But as your reflection continued you just did a summary of what you wrote. Instead of saying what you wrote about in each paragraph, say why you did. Express form, structure, and language.
I like how you said ‘I use lots of calm and comforting words like “family,” and “welcoming.”’ If you continued with that analysis and even expanded on little things like that, then your answer would have been stronger.
You failed to clearly express why your stylistic choices relate to the audience and shape meaning. While you only did so once. Talk more about your audience and why it's structured the way it's structured, give an example when you directly identified your audience. Not just by saying ‘ I talked in a second-person point of view like “You”’, who is that you? Explain how to address new coming students only for their first day.